Let’s talk about this strong Black woman shit.
The cape. The martyrdom. The ride-or-die loyalty. The 50 jobs. The “I’m fine” when you’re emotionally hemorrhaging inside. The “I’ll rest when I’m dead” energy that’s slowly killing you anyway.
Sis, that’s not strength. That’s survival.
And we’re not here to survive anymore—we’re here to reclaim our softness, our rest, our bodies, and our birthright to just be.
The Myth We Inherited
From our grandmothers to our mothers to our timelines, the “Strong Black Woman” archetype has been spoon-fed to us like cough syrup. A remedy for everything—racism, poverty, patriarchy, abandonment, injustice.
It goes like this:
Be twice as good. Work three times as hard. Don’t cry. Don’t break. Don’t need. And whatever you do—don’t stop.
And guess what? The world claps for it. Your job claps. Your family claps. Even your spiritual community claps.
Meanwhile, your nervous system is screaming.
According to a 2021 study from the Journal of Black Psychology, the internalization of the “Strong Black Woman Schema” is directly linked to emotional suppression, chronic stress, and health disparities—including higher rates of depression and anxiety. [source]
So no, this isn’t a personality trait. It’s a trauma response.
Rest Is Not Laziness. It’s Revolution.
Let’s be clear: grind culture is a colonized mindset.
It rewards productivity over peace. Performance over presence. Burnout over balance.
The U.S. was built on the backs—and unpaid labor—of Black and Indigenous people. So when you decide to nap, you’re not just tired. You’re telling that system, “You can’t own me anymore.”
Rest is spiritual warfare. Rest is ancestral healing. Rest is anti-capitalist AF.
Tricia Hersey, founder of The Nap Ministry, calls rest “a portal to imagine, invent, and disrupt.” And she’s right. [source]
Because when a Black woman closes her eyes in the middle of the day—not to escape, but to restore—she’s building a new world. One dream at a time.
You’re Not Lazy—You’re Overstimulated & Undernourished
Let’s talk biology real quick.
When you stay in high-stress states for too long (hello, constant caregiving, work overload, spiritual labor, and generational trauma), your body gets stuck in sympathetic dominance—aka fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. [source]
And no, sage and self-care Sundays can’t override what’s coded in your nervous system.
If you’re feeling:
- Tired but wired
- Guilty when you rest
- Resentful after giving too much
- Disconnected from your body
…it’s not because you’re broken.
It’s because you’ve been running on empty while applauded for endurance.
That’s not sacred. That’s survival mode in lipstick.
The Soft Life Is a Sacred Return
You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t need a reason to unplug.
You don’t need to explain why you’re unavailable, unbothered, or uninterested in doing shit for free.
Softness is not a luxury. It’s your birthright.
Joy is not a reward. It’s your baseline.
Rest is not weakness. It’s a strategy.
In my house, naps are spiritual practice. Baths are reiki. Silence is resistance. Sleep is spellwork. I let the ancestors finish what I can’t.
Here’s How to Start Reclaiming Rest (Without Guilt):
- Reprogram Your Value
- Your worth is not tied to your output.
- Say it daily until your cells believe it.
- Create Sacred “Do Nothing” Time
- Literally schedule “not a damn thing” into your calendar. Honor it like a business meeting.
- Unfollow Hustle Influencers
- If their posts make your adrenal glands twitch, they gotta go.
- Rest Before You’re Burnt Out
- You don’t have to earn collapse. Take the damn nap.
- Build a Circle That Honors Your Softness
- People who only love you when you’re useful don’t love you.
Final Savage Truth:
You’re not here to be “strong.”
You’re here to be whole.
To rest without guilt.
To be supported without proving your worth.
To let your softness speak louder than your resume.
And if that makes some people uncomfortable?
Let them squirm in their grind.
You’ll be over here, well-rested and radically free.
Tired of resting in isolation?
👑 Join the Savage Suites
This is where spiritually gifted, soul-rich women of color gather to unlearn grind culture, reclaim rest, and build lives that feel like truth—not performance.
🔗 Come lay your burdens down and meet the version of you who doesn’t need to hustle to be holy.
