Let’s get something straight: If you’re still out here pouring from an empty cup, this blog is your holy wake-up call.
Mother’s Day? Yeah, it’s cute. Bougie brunches. Tiny pancakes. Hand lotion gift sets you didn’t ask for. But here’s the truth that Hallmark won’t print on a pastel card: Being a mother to yourself is the real damn celebration.
And if you’re side-eyeing this concept because you think it sounds “selfish,” congratulations—you’ve been indoctrinated. Let’s burn that programming to the ground, shall we?
Mothering Yourself Is Not Optional. It’s Survival.
We romanticize motherhood like it’s some divine sacrificial rite, all while ignoring the burnout, identity loss, and generational trauma we keep repackaging as “tradition.”
Listen, I love my babies. But I also had to learn—sometimes the hard way—that I can’t be the mother they need if I’m not mothering myself first. That means inner nourishment, discipline with love, checking my own damn wounds, and showing up for myself daily.
Science is Catching Up to What Spirit Already Knows
According to a 2018 study in the Journal of Health Psychology, self-compassion is directly linked to lower levels of anxiety, depression, and stress. Basically? When you treat yourself like you’d treat your child—with kindness, patience, and presence—you don’t just feel better. You become emotionally bulletproof.
And let’s not forget: self-mothering is an ancestral practice. Before therapy was trending on TikTok, our grandmothers were whispering prayers into boiling pots of collard greens, transmuting pain into nourishment. That was medicine. That was self-care before it was commodified.
What It Actually Looks Like to Mother Yourself
Spoiler: It’s not just bubble baths and candles, though I will always stan for sacred bath rituals.
It looks like this:
- Saying no without apology—because every yes to someone else is a potential betrayal to yourself.
- Holding yourself accountable—not from shame, but from love.
- Reparenting your inner child—which might mean screaming into a pillow, journaling like a mystic, or crying to Sade in your car.
- Feeding your body real food—not because diet culture told you to, but because you deserve to feel radiant.
- Making space for rest and joy—because hustle isn’t a personality.
Mothering yourself is not soft. It’s savage. It’s radical. It’s giving, “I love myself so much, I will not tolerate my own bullsh*t anymore.”
Real Talk: Who Benefits When You Don’t Mother Yourself?
Patriarchy. Capitalism. Narcissists. That friend who only calls when she’s in crisis. Your job that expects 110% while paying you 70%.
When you abandon yourself, there’s always someone ready to benefit. But when you start showing up for yourself like a ride-or-die mama bear? That’s when boundaries get set, magic gets made, and healing becomes inevitable.
Don’t believe me? A study in Frontiers in Psychology found that high levels of self-care and self-compassion are predictors of resilience and satisfaction in parenting. Translation? When you take care of you, you show up better for everyone else. Period.
So, What’s the Real Gift This Mother’s Day?
It’s not another “World’s Best Mom” mug. It’s not a rose gold necklace with your kids’ birthstones. It’s not even a mimosa-fueled brunch (though, yes, girl—have the mimosa).
The real gift is the decision to show up for yourself like the sacred, sovereign being you are.
It’s giving your inner child the love she never got. It’s holding your present self with tenderness and truth. It’s mothering yourself so well that the next seven generations feel it.
So go ahead. Light a candle if you want. Or scream in your car. Or book the solo trip. Or finally block that person who’s been draining your energy since 2012.
Whatever you do, make this vow: “I mother me now. And I don’t wait for permission.”
Let’s Take It Deeper (Because You Know I Go There)
Need help learning how to mother yourself? I’ve got rituals. I’ve got journal prompts. I’ve got ancestral wisdom channeled straight from the divine hotline. Join me in my next circle or slide into my DMs on Instagram @nekeyathesavage. Don’t do this journey alone. That’s colonizer thinking.
You are your own sacred home, babe.
Happy Mother’s Day—to the mother you are, the mother you had, and the mother you now choose to be for yourself.
