Let’s say you’ve got a meeting on your calendar. It’s a big one, inside a boardroom full of businessmen and women who are discussing a large ticket project. Let me guess what’s going on in your mind.
You check to make sure you have the “right” outfit. You practice your “hellos” in the mirror. You check your tone, and make sure your smile is on point. You want to be seen as the “respectable businesswoman” and the only way you can see to do that is by impersonating the person you think those board members want to see.
Because otherwise, who are you to those people? The hood girl from downtown? The angry Black woman? The poor lady who doesn’t really know what she’s talking about because she’s just fulfilling a quota?
Shit, none of those are you. So you adopt the only personality you think will be accepted: the one that matches your perception of “careful” in this situation.
Sis, that’s no way to move past the stereotypes others have forced on you. All it’s gonna do is get you glossed over or labeled as a fucking fake. And that’s not what we’re here for.
We’re here for you. All of you: Swagger and sass and everything in between. And living that truth is what will break you free of all the stereotypes: the ones others put on you and the ones that might be invisibly there.
Stereotypes Exist for a Reason
But it ain’t the reason you’re thinking. No, they’re not there because that’s what you should expect. And they don’t exist because people who look like you automatically walk, talk, and act just like you.
Sis, stereotypes exist because dumbass people feel the need to water down the people who don’t look like them. So, in their perception, you become “just” the angry Black woman, “just” the quota girl, or “just” the dumb athlete.
It pisses you off, doesn’t it? It should. You’re more than that. We all are. And we need to show the world what all that could be.
Being “Careful” Perpetuates a Stereotype
Here’s where I break the news to you. By walking into a room masking as a “careful” version of yourself sucks just as much as any damaging stereotype.
Because you’re showing half of those people that you know how damaging those stereotypes are so you’re doing everything you damn well can to not be that. They see that fakeness. And their auto brains think: “Well, of course she can’t show up in that horrible way, so she’s gonna fake it until she makes it.”
These people aren’t your people.
And the other half of the room? Well, they see that careful version and start developing a whole new perception of who you are. And since it’s all a mask you throw on, depending on the occasion, well, it’s just as wrong. It’s still not you. And they’re more likely to gloss over and never see the you who lives in your core.
These are also not your people. Not yet.
Your Avatar
So now you’ve got a choice between two fucking avatars. The damaging one or the other damaging one. And whichever one you choose, it’s wrong.
The truth is, how other people see you isn’t real anyway. It’s all their perception. It’s all what they think they see, through their lens, their experiences, and the knowledge (or lack thereof) they carry.
So why not drop the mask, kick the stereotypes to the curb, and simply be yourself? Is it scary? Sure. It’s fucking scary. But at least it’s real. And realness opens up more possibilities for your future.
The Truth About Authenticity
The truth is, there is a power in your authenticity. By owning every inch of who you are out in the open as well as internally, you literally break out of the chains that masking and stereotypes put on you.
You break free from what other people think of you because you realize it doesn’t matter
anyway. They’re going to think what they’re going to think, and there’s not much you can change about that.
But you can find the people who are your fucking people. Because once they get a taste of your realness, they’ll want to get to know your personality. They’ll want to surround themselves with you. They’ll want to support your goals and watch you succeed.
And by freeing yourself of all the shit other people might be thinking, well, it frees yourself to connect with all the other realness in the world. So you can move forward, create new paths, and manifest more that relates to the truth that was always there.
